Show Notes:
Thacker Sleight attorneys discuss insights into the intricate world of parental rights, child custody battles, and family law, covering pivotal issues, current laws, and heart-rending stories that many parents face.
Note: Always consult with a legal professional about specific circumstances and cases.
Episode Highlights:
00:00 Introduction
01:30 Legal Rights of Non-Married Parents
04:00 Custody and Parenting Time
07:15 Establishing Parental Rights
10:00 Financial Responsibilities
12:45 Co-Parenting Challenges
15:30 Legal Resources and Support
18:00 Final Thoughts
Read the Full Episode Transcript:
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Non-Married Parental Rights
Podcast Host (0:04): This Thacker Sleight podcast is hosted by Connie Thacker and Allison Sleight, two experienced attorneys who believe honesty, transparency, and knowledge are key to achieving the best legal outcomes. A variety of topics, particularly those related to sensitive family law matters, are candidly covered by Connie and Allison, other Thacker Sleight attorneys, and guests in a refreshing, timely, and practical way for listeners.
Connie Thacker (0:30): Welcome, everyone. Today we are going to be discussing the issue of you're not married, but you have a child, and trying to understand what happens in Michigan as those issues come up. And here with me today, I've got our A-team, of course, Allison Sleight, and Courtney, and Emily, and Corey.He's going to talk to us about some issues related to this issue, and talk about affidavit of parentage, if you have one, if you don't have one, and talk a little bit about ROPA, which is the Revocation of Parentage Act. So I'm going to turn it over to Corey and the rest of our team.
Corey (1:09): All right, thank you. So to start, to establish paternity in Michigan, there are three ways that really it can happen. One is going to be through the affidavit of parentage. That's going to be a document that you sign when your child is born. Usually a nurse or somebody with the hospital supervises you while you sign that, and then they'll submit it to the state. From there, you'll get your birth certificate, which is separate from the affidavit of parentage. A lot of people confuse the affidavit of parentage with the birth certificate. The birth certificate is just a record. It is not a legal document. So the birth certificate, while somebody's name may be on it, is not indicative of paternity like the affidavit of parentage. Second, if you don't have an affidavit of parentage, the other way you can establish paternity is through DNA testing. You have to prove to the court by clear and convincing evidence that you are the father of this child. That could be done either DNA testing provided by the court, or that could be done outside of court if you and the other parent can agree to that. If you have outside DNA evidence that you submit to the court with your complaint, the other party has about two weeks to respond to that and object to that DNA evidence. If they object to that, then that goes into the normal evidence process where you have to test the reliability of said evidence and then move forward that way.
Connie Thacker (2:23): And the DNA testing isn't really that intrusive, is it? I mean, we talk about DNA evidence related to children, but it's generally just a swab of the inside of the mouth. It's not like we're talking about blood tests or anything very invasive for the child.
Corey (2:36): Absolutely, absolutely. It's just gonna be a hair follicle or a buccal swab, a swab from your cheek. Mom needs to be tested, dad needs to be tested, and then the child needs to be tested. All similar non-invasive ways takes a couple minutes to do.
Connie Thacker (2:49): And we really recommend that you make sure that you go to a facility that is known for doing this and don't take your child's swab of the mouth and send it off to Ancestry or to 23andMe or anything like that. You need to make sure that you're going to a reputable place that the court relies on and not just do something like that.
Corey (3:10): Yes, and I absolutely would suggest getting an attorney to go through this process because they're gonna know the proper DNA places to go to. They could also contact the court and get information on what services that that specific court uses in that county. A lot of the courts use the same business that are nationwide, but there are many different options out there.
Connie Thacker (3:30): Yeah, and I think you also need to be cognizant, and that was a good comment by Corey, is make sure that you do have legal representation. It's no different than if you were in fact married because you are dealing with custody, parenting time, and child support as it relates to your child.
Corey (3:45): Yes, and another like important aspect to that is your initial custody order is the most important thing that you can ever establish while you're establishing paternity. That first order is going to pretty much set up in your next few years of how your custody arrangement is going to be. It's very hard to change your custody if you choose to give that away or limit it in some aspect that is not really appropriate. So it's important to have an attorney to get that initial custody order set up.
Allison Sleight (4:14): Well and Corey, without getting into too much detail, if you sign that affidavit of parentage, who has custody?
Corey (4:20): The mom's gonna initially have custody.
Allison Sleight (4:23): And that is legal custody and physical custody?
Corey (4:25): Yes, that is. So right on the affidavit of parentage, right in the middle of the form, it'll say in signing this form we understand that the mother has initial custody of the child without prejudice to the determination of either parent's custodial rights until otherwise determined by the court or agreed upon by the parties in writing.
Allison Sleight (4:42): I think a lot of people don't even look at that document at the hospital when they sign it, so that's important to know.
Corey (4:47): Absolutely, and it's important to keep a copy of this too. So while, you know, this gets submitted to the state, not everybody has a copy of it. So if you're trying to establish paternity in order to not go through that DNA process, which can be expensive, you want to keep a copy of your affidavit of parentage.
Allison Sleight (5:01): And if you don't have one, I recently had a case you can get another copy online, but it takes a long, long time to get a copy.
Corey (5:08): It does, and it could slow up custody determinations, especially if you kind of jump the gun and start that court process first without having the evidence of the affidavit of parentage, that could slow up the process of getting a custody order.
Allison Sleight (5:20): Well, and some courts are requiring it before the filing even happens. Correct. So you really want to have an attorney because, you know, for child support purposes, if you're trying to obtain support, then you really want to have that document, and an attorney advise you if you don't have it, how to get it filed even without it.
Corey (5:37): Absolutely.
Connie Thacker (5:38): Yeah, so often we get calls from potential clients and they indicate to us that they haven't been married, but they do have this form, and that's the first thing that we look for is when we take in a new case like this, is was it signed and who actually has the current custody, and even times when the moms call us, the moms don't even know that they have custody pursuant to this document, and they're asking questions like, you know, can I pick the school location, can I pick the doctors, and the answers to all those questions without an order from the court to the contrary is, yes, you're the mother in charge.
Corey (6:14): Yes, and this affidavit of parentage gives mom an incredible amount of power to that extent, and dad really doesn't have much to do about it until he establishes paternity.
Allison Sleight (6:24): Right, well, and you think about with legal custody, you can move to any state you wanted to with the child, so getting some sort of custody established if your community is, you know, Grand Rapids, somewhere around here, and you want to keep that community for the child, then you really want to file this, even though it may seem like you're suing the mother of your child, you really want to get something on the record that you have custody and limit the moves that the mother can make.
Corey (6:51): Yeah, and that makes a good point, too, because even if, you know, the parents are not fighting or there is not a contentious relationship between the two, I still think it's great to have to go to the court and establish your custody just so everybody's on the same page and there's no questions about it later. You know, things can change, circumstances can change, you may be together one minute and then not the next. It's good to have that custody order in place so that those circumstances don't influence whether or not you, you have the ability to be a parent from one minute to the next.
Allison Sleight (7:22): Well, exactly. I mean, what if mom dies? What then if you haven't established your paternity?
Corey (7:27): Actually, I had a case like that. Interestingly enough, mom died in a car accident and dad didn't establish paternity and mom filed a guardianship and took the kid away from him, so I think that case is still pending. So, it absolutely can happen.
Allison Sleight (7:41): I think it's important, too, to establish the affidavit of parentage as well because we're talking a lot about custody but parenting time as well. In the absence of some actual order, if you're the father, the affidavit of parentage isn't going to actually assign you any specific time with your child. So, in order to get that process up and running, you really do need to consult with an attorney to figure out how do I get that actual parenting time schedule in the books and enforceable because without it, it's really the Wild West.There's nothing either parent can really do, in particular the father, to enforce any agreements between the parties about who has the child when until we get these orders in place.
Corey (8:25): Yeah, that's absolutely right and another thing to consider, too, is that it takes a minute to establish your paternity as well. So, it could take a couple months from filing before actually getting to the point where the court is even addressing custody and parenting time. So, that's another reason why I think even if you're in a good spot right now, you should get that custody order established just so you have that time in place from one moment to the next.
Allison Sleight (8:50): And don't we say that about most things? I mean, prenuptial agreements, you know, make your agreements in advance when you're in happy times because quite frankly, it's just good practice for life. This being another one, make sure that you become a legal parent of your child so that in happy times and so that later on if something does fall apart, you certainly have those rights already established.
Corey (9:11): Yeah, and that actually brings me to the next point of how to establish paternity as well and that's going to be through the revocation of parentage act. So, that's going to be where one parent is, or excuse me, one father usually is established legally as the father of a child but is not actually the biological father of that child. So, what a presumed or excuse me, what an alleged father would have to do, which is somebody that thinks they are the dad of the father but is not legally the father, what they have to do is file a motion with the court to do DNA testing to ensure and figure out who the actual dad is. From that point, the court can figure out, okay, once the DNA evidence is established, who is the actual father and then what they call is order affiliation and establish that you are the father of this child and not the presumed father is who it's called. And the difference and the real key with that is a presumed father is anybody who is married to a significant other and has a child that are caused by that marriage. So, if a couple is married and they have a child during that marriage, that father, that spouse is presumed to be the father even if in actuality they are not.
Allison Sleight (10:25): And I assume shortly after that, the Jerry Springer producers call you on the phone and set up a meeting.
Corey (10:30): Yes, yes, and it was Mari, but I think he's off the air now.
Allison Sleight (10:36): It's a very good point though. If you do suspect your spouse may not have been faithful, this is a very important point to note because that marriage does make the husband the presumed father, which he may or may not be. So, definitely results in a potential Jerry Springer viewing, but it's an important point to make sure that you are aware of.
Connie Thacker (11:00): And it certainly results in an interesting conversation.
Corey (11:03): Yes, and another key thing too about that is, so as it relates to divorce, let's say you know these two parties got divorced at the beginning of the year, but the ex-wife has a child later in the year. That ex-husband is still on the hook potentially up to 300 days after the divorce because the 300 days is the maximum quote-unquote gestation period to have a child. So, the court could put a ex-husband on the hook for that child if they were born within a certain amount of time of that marriage.
Connie Thacker (11:35): Yeah, it's all really interesting information and I think that the sort of theme that we have for us today as lawyers is that you really need somebody to guide you through this maze of what to do and when to do it. And Corey's given us some great insights today and you've heard from the team in terms of what you might think about and look for.
If you need any further information with respect to this topic, please make sure you give us a call at Thacker Sleight.
Podcast Host (12:07): Thank you for listening to this episode of our Thacker Sleight podcast. If you have additional questions, do not hesitate to contact us at 616-888-3810 or visit our website thackersleight.com for further information.
If you’re a non-married parent seeking to establish your legal rights or facing custody issues, the attorneys at Thacker Sleight are here to help. We provide the guidance and support you need to navigate these challenges effectively. Reach out to us today for a consultation and let us assist you in securing your parental rights.