“Winning” is a mindset that many of us have. We want to win … sometimes no matter what the cost. But while a “win at all costs” attitude is beneficial in sporting events and competitions, it has no place in a divorce proceeding.
Individuals seeking a divorce in Michigan should want what is best for both parties. In other words, they should want each other to win. Having a positive outlook like this not only helps reduce animosity and hard feelings, but also makes the divorce process easier for everyone.
So, how can you work toward a divorce agreement that is a “winner” for both parties? Here are a few ways to help that happen.
1. Remember: ‘Fair’ Does Not Exist
Nothing is fair in life – and especially during a divorce. So when the time comes to negotiate a divorce settlement, it is best to toss the idea of “fairness” out the window.
Rather than fixating on what is (or is not) fair in a divorce, set your sights on what is best for the entire family. By doing this, you are not putting emphasis on past transgressions or hurt feelings. Instead, you are moving forward without trying to “get back” at your ex-spouse.
2. Avoid Criticism & Name Calling
Divorce is not a “me versus you” process. While it is understandable that resentment can build after years of arguments and harsh words, these negative feelings need to be set aside during a divorce.
Hold back on the criticisms and the name calling of your former spouse. Instead, notice the positive things that are happening. For example, point out that your ex-spouse is being reasonable during the divorce negotiations and is taking good care of the children during visits. While a kind word may seem like a small gesture, it can frequently redirect the entire course of a divorce discussion.
3. Understand What Is At Stake
Many things are at stake in a divorce besides a financial settlement. Keep in mind that you also want visitation with your children. In addition, you want to maintain your reputation and character, as well as your mental, emotional, and physical health.
For these reasons, it is important that you do not say negative things about the other parent in front of the children. You should also avoid complaining about your ex-spouse on social media and refrain from engaging in drawn-out battles over small details. If you do any of these things, it could backfire in the end and lead to failure during negotiations.
4. Focus On The Future
Stop living in the past. Divorce is a time to begin looking to the future. Let go of the negative energy and focus your efforts on yourself and what is best for the children. Take care of your own needs, so that you are a happy and healthy parent, family member, and friend. By doing this, you will be able to live your best life.
Yes, the foregoing tips can be challenging … but they are necessary. They will help make the divorce process more amicable and, in turn, you will be able to move forward more quickly with your life.
The experienced Michigan family law attorneys at Thacker Sleight are available to help with your divorce. Contact us today to schedule a consultation and learn more about our legal services.